Spartak,
I will name my second band “Autonomy of the Individual” :wink:
Here is some more wishful thinking for you.
The reality of your day to day life, and where you want to live is absolutely in ones own hands.
It makes me sad that you feel like you don’t have control of your life, but it has control of you. It also makes me sad that you speak in such absolutes about what can and cannot be done and achieved by a person. I don’t think believing in individualism and the characteristics of one’s identity is an american or westcoast ideal at all. It is more the ideal of a human being that can think for themselves, and make decisions about their life based on those thoughts. And I’m sure there are just as many individuals that can do that in the Netherlands than there are in america or anywhere else. In terms of choosing a great job or your friends it depends on which you value more. Your friends or how much money you make. It is true that your friends don’t pay the bills, but it is also true that the amount of money you make does not exponentially increase your happiness with how much is earned. You chose money over your friends so that means you value money more. At the same time you do sound conflicted about this decision. Hearing you speak about Brooklyn with such reverie makes it sound to me like you would rather be in Brooklyn working in a pizza parlor, and enjoying the minimal synth ecosphere then you are now in rotterdam with your great job. Anyway, that can be done, and you know it can be done, so if you think that is the key to happiness then why don’t you do it.
In terms of city life having a tremendous impact on a person I would say it can, and it cannot. I definitely think it varies from zero impact to tremendous impact according to the individual.
I lived in a redneck town until age 13 and I would say I have absolutely no redneck qualities or mentality
Then from 13 to 18 I lived in a Hippie town. I never became a hippy or did drugs or embraced that mentality either.
And for the last 16 years I’ve lived in Los Angeles which is known for being superficial and fake. Once again, this is what this city is known for, but I have the complete opposite mentality.
However, my sister who has lived in Brooklyn on and off for the last 9 years has definitely embraced the mentality of being a New Yorker. She talks and acts like a New Yorker and the city has had an effect on who she is. To me that comes across as somewhat fake though. I can understand if a person grows up in a certain place it having a greater effect, but when a person is already grown, and they move somewhere and automatically adopt the mentallity of the place it can be perceived as contrived. Which is how I see it in her.
Anyway, I will say that a cities effects on a persons pscyhe definitely varies from person to person. One person will be happy wherever they live, and another will be miserable wherever they live. However, I will still not say the key to happiness for anyone is living in a different place. If you are miserable in one place there are more factors than just the built environment, and the mentallity of the city that are involved in that misery.
obscure